By Dr. Roger Pierangelo and Dr. George Giuliani

Introduction

Historically, the filing of divorce papers is assumed to mark the start of a process that will be filled with a great deal of anger, anxiety, vulnerability, threats, confrontation and lack of civility. However, the presence of such feelings, in most cases, probably started well before any filing, and has the potential to reach a point where the mental status and emotional well-being of the parents and the children can be severely impaired. When judges first review a case, they are very often completely unaware of the mental state and other pertinent information of the parents and children, as well as the dynamics that are present in the family at the time they first appear in court. Consequently, a great deal of time may be lost until a law guardian is assigned or a forensic evaluation is requested by the judge. And even then, a law guardian may not be trained to provide the judge with family dynamics. A marital assessment at the start of divorce proceedings would provide a clear and comprehensive report informing the judge of the overall assessment of the present family interactions and dynamics.

A marital assessment would not involve making recommendations or forensic suggestions. Instead, it would allow the judge to determine whether or not immediate court intervention is required for the children in the form of therapy or for the parents in the form of parent coordination, civility coaching, or re-entry therapy where professional intervention is required to repair an alienated relationship between children and a parent. These factors should be addressed right from the start so that any damage to the psychological state of the children is prevented.

What is a Marital Assessment?

There are many types of assessments used in all professions. Schools use formal and informal academic and psychological assessments at the beginning of the school year to determine the strengths and weaknesses of children so that expectations are in line with a child's ability and capability. Most schools will use a kindergarten screening before children enter school to identify high-risk children who will need special attention and support. This type of assessment reduces problems that some children would have in transitioning to school.

The medical profession uses pre-op testing to make sure that all the conditions are within acceptable limits for patients prior to surgery. Doctors will also use extensive medical tests before any intrusive and/or extensive procedures are undertaken by the physician.

Psychologists will use psychological examinations and intakes at the start of therapy to determine the mental status of a patient so that the therapist is aware of any fragility, mental illness, psychopathology, etc.

Unlike other professions, the legal profession in separation and divorce cases has no such vehicle to help determine the dynamics of parents and children at the start of this process. Consequently, judges and lawyers almost always enter the litigation process blindly. In general, the only intervention and awareness of family dynamics sometimes comes many months or years into a difficult case when a forensic evaluation is requested by the court. By the time these results are made available, so much damage may have taken place in the psychological development of the children that it may be irreversible.

A marital assessment, by a highly qualified and trained mental health professional, would be a requirement by the Court of all parents after filing for divorce where there are one or more children involved. There are 2 parts to a comprehensive marital assessment:

Part I: Determining the Overall Functioning Levels of the Children

Part II: The Use of a Parent Civility Rating Scale

Part I of a Marital Assessment: Determining the Overall Functioning Levels of the Children

The first part of a marital assessment provides the judge with a comprehensive assessment of the overall functioning levels of the children on a variety of measures. These measures focus on the academic, emotional, social, and medical status of the children. The areas included in this part of the assessment include:

The children's present school functioning and academic history: If a child is struggling in school when his/her parents are going through a divorce, the overall levels of tension can be debilitating and dangerous to his/her well being. Many times, the stress from a separation of divorce can affect the child’s ability to concentrate and perform in school despite adequate ability.

The present mood and affect of the children: The present mood of the children and their emotional affect as to what is transpiring in their family needs to be explored. How the mood and affect of the children is affected by the stress of separation and divorce are important information for the judge to be aware of during this process.

The indications of high-risk factors in the children's behavior and thinking: High risk symptoms in children’s behavior may indicate serious issues in the future. Intervention 2 may be required but family dynamics under the stress of divorce may have created an inability to attend to the needs of the children.

Medical status of the children: A complete medical review of the children should be provided including medications, illnesses and/or disorders. 

The developmental history of the children: The developmental status of children is important information for the judge to know, including social, emotional, family, economic and behavioral histories. 

Developmental concerns and the present interventions: This information would provide the judge with present medical, psychological and educational interventions for children with special needs.

Areas of functional impairment on the part of the children: One of the most important factors that should be know is the impact of the family tension on the children’s functioning levels in social and academic areas.

Evidence of any possible educational disability: Information on educational disabilities, including the classification of disability, special education placements and services should be information that is available.

Social status of the children: Many children who experience separation and divorce will begin to cocoon as a result of stress and tension which tends to drain their energy. As a result, they will begin to pull away from social interaction. This isolation and peer withdrawal can have serious impacts on their development.

The need for therapeutic intervention for the children: The judge should be made aware if the children are presently receiving psychotherapy. Someone should also be assigned to contact the therapists and find out the status of the treatment and present emotional status of the children. The children’s therapist should be an integral part of the process of separation and divorce and should be kept up-to-date on the process.

Level of alienation of the child/children towards either parent: Objective, not interpretive observation of the children’s present dynamic state with each parent should be explored. Many times in separation and divorce cases, an alignment between parents and children may take place with specific children aligning to a specific parent. The reasons for this connection would be explored by the forensic evaluator. However, the objective determination of alignment could have an impact on the well being of the children.

Fears, phobias and other psychological disorders of the child: Fears, phobias and other psychological disorders will often aggravate during the stress of separation and divorce. Psychological disorders can greatly interfere with the children’s ability to cope and can add to the stress of the parents, especially since they should be working together for the sake of the children.

The child's perception of the current attitude and behavior of the parents towards each other: Sometimes, children can provide important insight into the relationship of parents 3 during this stressful time. Parents who are under the stress of separation and divorce may not be able to be objective about how they deal with each other.

Part II of a Marital Assessment: The Use of a Parent Civility Rating Scale

The second part of the comprehensive marital assessment is the use of a Parent Civility Rating Scale to provide the judge with important information on the level of civility on the part of the parents. This scale does not provide forensic accountability but provides necessary information for the judge to determine if a Parent Coordinator or Civility Coach should be instituted immediately to monitor the situation and protect the children from being exposed to unhealthy family dynamics or psychological injury.

The factors covered on the Parent Civility Rating Scale would include the following:

Overall Communication Between the Parents: In general, are the parents able to communicate effectively with each other about issues involving their children?

Medical Decisions: Are the parents able to make joint medical decisions for their children without fighting?

Educational Decisions: Are the parents able to communicate effectively with each other about issues involving their children’s education without fighting?

Parent Opinions: Are the parents able to communicate their opinions to each other about issues involving their children effectively without fighting?

Feedback from Each Parent: Are the parents are able to accept feedback from each other about issues involving their children without fighting?

Attendance at School Related Events: Are the parents able to attend school related events for their children without fighting when each other parent present?

Financial Decisions: Are the parents able to communicate effectively with each other about financial issues involving their children without fighting?

Putting Children in the Middle of Disputes: When disputes arise, do parents put their children in the middle?

Using Children as Messengers to Obtain Information on the Other Parent: Are the parents able to communicate effectively with each other about questions or concerns they may be having and thereby never use their children as messengers to obtain information on the other parent?

Using Children as Messengers to Provide Information to the Other Parent: Are the parents able to communicate effectively with each and thereby never use their children as messengers to provide information to the other parent?

Communication with Each Other Via Phone: Are the parents able to communicate via phone effectively with each other about issues involving their children?

Communication with Each Other Via Email: Are the parents able to communicate via email effectively with each other about issues involving their children?

Transition of Children from Parent-to-Parent: Are the parents able to have their children transition from one parent to the other parent without fighting?

Negotiation of Extra Visitation or Change of Weekend Schedule: Are the parents able to negotiate extra visitation time or change the weekend schedule without fighting?

Family and Outside Events (weddings, birthday parties, soccer games, etc.)-- Are the parents able to attend events for their children without fighting when each other parent present?

Phone Calls to Children—Do the parents allow phone calls to come in from the other parent when the children are in their custody with no tension or problems?

ProvidingInformation(medicalappointments,teacherappointments,andchildren’s parties etc.)-- Are the parents able to communicate effectively with each other about their children’s scheduled appointments and activities without fighting? The following is a Parent Civility Rating Scale that we have created that would be filled in by the professional doing the marital assessment:

PARENT CIVILITY RATING SCALE

Please rate the parents on each of the 17 items (A through Q). You can only circle one answer (0, 1, 2 or 3) for each area being assessed.

A-Overall Communication Between the Parents

0-In general, parents are able to communicate effectively with each other about issues involving their children

1- In general, parents are able to communicate with each other about issues involving their children with limited disagreement

2- In general, parents have difficulty communicating with each other about issues involving their children.

3- In general, parents are unable to communicate with each other about issues involving their children. 

B- Medical Decisions

0-Parents are able to make joint medical decisions for their children without fighting.

1- Parents are able to communicate about medical issues involving their children with limited fighting.

2- Parents have difficulty communicating with each other about medical issues involving their children.

3- Parents are unable to communicate with each other about medical issues involving their children.

C- Educational Decisions

0-Parents are able to communicate effectively with each other about issues involving their children’s education without fighting

1- Parents are able to communicate with each other about issues involving their children’s education with limited fighting

2- Parents have difficulty communicating with each other about issues involving their children’s education.

3- Parents are unable to communicate with each other about issues involving their children’s education.

D- Parent Opinions

0-Parents are able to effectively communicate their opinions to each other about issues involving their children without fighting

1- Parents are able to communicate their opinions to each other about issues involving their children with limited fighting

2- Parents have difficulty communicating their opinions to each other about issues involving their children with each other

3- Parents are unable to communicate their opinions to each other with each other about issues involving their children.